The Canadian Romantic: Wind Of Mail

I am told that this is the most depressing day of the year. I don't feel it. the day's not over yet. Do you feel it? Here's a video. Hope you no longer feel that but feel the video, feel me. Feel free to repost, link, love, et al, if you like like like.

FEINT

I perform as part of Feint of Hart again this Thursday, so good, it's free and it inventively mixes comedy with music and multimedia and costumes and more, yes yes. So nice to be asked to be a part. This is part four but no matter, just go enjoy the continuing story of an all male Naval academy's regular talent show...
In the Arbor Room, Hart House, University of Toronto
DOORS 9PM
SHOW 10PM SHARP
FREE


I'd blog more when I was aching and breaking open spilling guts, things go awry.
And now?
I feel fine.
I feel just fine.
Shouldn't I blog then? Or is this just a platform to complain, not praise. Oh exalted!
Someone added me as a friend. They had some sort of piercing that marked them as a self-described individual in broad brushstrokes. It kept me from blogging. The act of blogging felt so inflated and self-important. Get out of myself.

ANOTHER YEAR

This is going to be the best 2011 ever!

The last 2011 sucked.

Many people are really hoping that this year is better than last year, well, it is actually up to us to make it a better year. Us, and The Illuminati, of course.
Ta!

SASKATOON FINDINGS

Saskatoon? Yes, I was there for a few days, yes. And it was. It was. Homogeneity. Yet in the old shops there lingered items. One shop had a knit thingy like the multicoloured start of a knit afghan shawl, deep V woolly band with fringe in red, blue, yellow, and white. One dollar. Same shop had a VHS entitled Primal: an instinct for the original. It's for hairstyling, upon watching it all I got was a slightly fuzzy taping of CTV. In another charity shop was a VHS called Glitterball, if only, it's a British children's movie about aliens. Same shop: first Care Bears LP by Flo and Eddie (Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan) of The Turtles. Canned Hamm performed at the Bubblegum Achievement awards in LA a few years ago where Volman and Kaylan got an award for their work on The Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake. Somewhere there's a photo of me with Mark Volman. Wish I knew where.

What else did I get in Saskatoon? A book by one of my fave sci-fi authors, Michael Moorcock, about space-rock band Hawkwind, "Rocking on the edge of time. Rock and roll sci-fi."

A pivotal Brian Aldiss sci-fi novel entitled Cryptozoic which is a psychosexual thriller about man and time.


A hyper-stylized graphic novel from the late 70s entitled Psychorock by Macedo, sci-fi glammed out Euro fantasies with imagery that looks like it came off a fifth dimensional van.

A rare 1967 romance comic with the glossiest pages entitled Mod Love, hyper-stylized as well, like the Yellow Submarine movie, better than Peter Max. Link to pages here:
http://kathykavan.com/?tag=comic

The very 80s post-apocalytptic comic miniseries Slash Maraud with an Eastwoodian hero and a blue haired fighting female in a zebra print leotard, people on the fringes of society:

An issue of Hex, which was the series where Wild West comic book hero Jonah Hex gets zoomed into an unreadable post-apocalyptic future.
Jack Kirby taking on the kung-fu craze in issue three of Richard Dragon, it's as good as one would hope even though he didn't write it (Denny O'Neill did).
A Canadian comic book entitled Super Shamou that warns against solvent huffing in the North West Territories.
A Canadian comic book entitled Binkly and Doinkel that teaches children about harmful chemicals. This was actually also a series of televison PSAs (I wish these were up on YouTube) as well as a puppet show that I saw as a small child. Binkly and Doinkel were aliens and the comic book still looks great!


If anyone wants further details, let me know.
Otherwise, here's a video:

TIDINGS

New vid, every week, if you feel lonely, sad, et al this X Mas, you are not alone...maybe this vid will help.
Feel free as well to drop me a line if you do feel that way, I understand:
moustachedpainless@yahoo.com

TONETTA WROTE A SONG ABOUT ME, PLUS: LONER SHOW

Well, actually my character The Canadian Romantic:


As well my interview with the talented Brian Barlow of The Loner Show is up at Hunter and Cook. It's all about the many characters that he has created and how the last Loner Show is this Sunday nite at The Rivoli. 5 bux. I will be performing , along with over 60 other people for a minute each, as The Canadian Romantic:
http://www.hunterandcook.com/archives/449#more-449

That show will be wild!

This Tonetta vid was posted after trying to call him at 5 PM all week as he was going to come on my The Canadian Romantic show, he became elusive then this vid just appeared. Weird day today. Before that vid appeared I found out about Captain Beefheart dying, I knew it was coming as he'd had advanced MS for quite a while but it still hit. Just can't stop listening to Beefheart, the sonic tones of "Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)" (my fave) are just so overpowering. I took him for granted for so long but just so pivotal, so pivotal. I remember as a teeny bopper in Northern BC (pre-internet) reading weird allusions to him and wondering what the deal was, ole but needed it, had it on cassette, went with my Mom, ROCKING POETIC INTENSITY, I was looking for wilder and wilder sounds and there they were, showing possibilities, so many, he even dressed well, a personal style God: his moustache, tortoise shell specs, I once found a scarf just like on the cover of Bongo Fury, so bummed when that went missing, even his paintings helped show me viscerality.
Please share your personal thoughts on Beefheart, love to hear them....

CHRISTMAS FEELINGS/LONELINESS/NEW CANADIAN ROMANTIC

I almost forgot to post this...The Ossington (61 Ossington) asked me back and it was organised last minute so that I could play my X Mas records, yayyyyyyy!I just bought two new ones: The Rotary Connection (psych-soul) and Spinal Tap!
Tuesday, Dec 13th, 9 PM. My fave vid store Eyesore Cinema is donating prizes: if you bring some non-perishables for the food bank you increase your likelihood of winning...


As well The Canadian Romantic will be appearing for his Midnite Candlelight recitation. Oh, and here's his new video:

Just as I was about to go on meds, I feel like I have turned a page recently. May it continue. Strange these feelings when even confidence is being restored. Oh, those pendulum swings of ego manifestations from self-grandeur to self-pity. Numerous baseball bat hits to its' kneecaps the last couple of months, some of which have been detailed, some of which I won't...In terms of female relations, I've often feel like saying lately, "I deserve far better than this. I do not deserve to be treated this way. In fact, no one should be treated this way." I made rules the previous week of no asking girls out, keeping away, they have to come to me for I do not want to be hurt anymore. I have too much to offer for that kind of run-around. Rules break, eye contact is made, I have an amourous character, is this wise?
However, I may just be crazy, deluded. With hopeful growth. My name is Jesus Christ and I will fuck you, skip the martyrdom.
Part of my pain is that I have had mountains and lost them. When an ex (who looks like a red-headed Caroline Munro but better: by the way, people have all this celeb lust and there are people just walking down the street who look far better, dress better and are probably way more interesting than most celebs) that deep love and laughs were shared with, bringing out each other's good qualities, well, of course I will feel deep loss. Mind you, with the previous ex I wondered if I'd date again and it got better (with a former child actress rebound on E thrown in-between of course). So deep pain from what I've had (gone to never return), more gratitude of what I've had, the life I've lived, what I have, the gifts I've been given.
I'm doing okay. My current vibe: fuck it.
I don't care about my needs! I'm simply more into delivering the goods to others right now. And if they reject it then, well, it just wasn't right or it is their loss, not mine.
Who knows what is to come?
I'd been pretty depressed, sad, and lonely, so encountering other folks who are in a bit of that same boat who say, "Those new vids made me less depressed, etcetera" makes me realise what I have to do and why I have to do it. If I can get it to more folks, even better. Of course, if I can also make people less lonely and depressed by using my other gift (my large penis) then even better.
I don't really need to exist in my own head all the time, thank you very much.
Sure hope this feeling lasts.
Hey, here's something, I went to a party yesterday for a charity. It was filled with people that went through unimaginable horrors and had to escape to Canada. They were laughing and had dignity.
Cherish your day.

LOCKED IN

Last night: riding my bike to a date that all signs show is not going to go well- it's out of my hands and opting out is bad form-it eventually goes worse than imagined. En route my mind races back to when I was in a relationship and wishing that I could be there again. But I can't. No use living in the past. This is now. No other options but the present. I am locked in and can't get out.

INTERVIEWED

Focused? Oh yeah, I am FOCUSED! Focused on checking my e mail every two fucking minutes...

Refine that!

I have recently decided to drop all current creative projects and focus all of my energies on Facebook.

Or have I, Chrissssst? These laser beams are shooting out of my tips, even while sick, they keep coming. Lonelier than ever, solution: work alone. Confidence comes running back into my bloodstream, still lonely.

Here's a brand new in-depth interview with me, makes me look like I do and think about shit:

http://canadaisamusicmec.ca/2010/11/ciamm-interviews-robert-dayton/

Back to work/sleep/awakedness.

The Canadian Romantic Episode Two

Filmed them in a row, working up a glow...
Feel free to subscribe, imbibe on em, share em, trade with friends, there are now two.

With all projects I say of late, "What's the use?" then all of a sudden put a new vid up once a week. Something is driving me. Friday night, I was cornered by a friend who started talking about me being esoteric with a limited audience. I did not bring the topic up, I just wanted to have a good time at a show, take my mind off of my problems. I became depressed (aren't I always? this is the first heaaaavy break-up where I did not choose the meds: wise decision?). He saw that I was becoming depressed. He kept on talking. A woman wanted to say goodbye to me and apologised profusely for interrupting, my eyes said, "Rescue me from this." Finally my bladder spoke an interior monologue and I dashed to the WC for my freedom.

Saturday, I did as little as humanly possible (Friday night's conversation stuck with me).

Sunday, I attended a group art show of which I am a part, Index G, large prints made and for sale. A fellow artist was telling me how this may be the wrong city for him as well and he's had astological cartography to prove it! In New York City, people like Roy Scheider -fresh from tennis and with a much taller woman- would come up to him thinking they knew him (Buck Henry as well). I may need to do this astrological cartography.
Then I attended a launch for a book of which I am a small part, I co-conducted a lengthy Kim Deitch interview:
http://www.conundrumpress.com/wp/?page_id=835

I had bitten my tongue, the very tip, and felt it all last week. Healing now. Sore throat today. Home from work. Nothing will get done. It's nap time.

Lately I've been thinking, "These may be my lost years."
Then I think, "Naw, I landed a role in an office supply commercial."

Please do not respond by saying, "I saw that!" Granted the more it runs, the more money I make and it was a real hoot to shoot. The following video is more meaningful, but perhaps it is far more esoteric than whoring laptops to the masses...

The Canadian Romantic

I just don't know.
Ever since I got back from LA it's been one thing after another, nothing related to health or money fortunately, but many rejections in all manners and disappointments (the latest: a bailing on the Canned Hamm X Mas show in Vancouver at the last second, let's just say that Canned Hamm is pretty much finished after ten years and I am obviously sad about it). Some say that maybe I am just not being patient about these things (err, my Toronto band has been dormant for a year- is that patient enough?). I do have to be careful to not let my mourning fall into self-pity and victim mentalities. Perhaps the key isn't so much about patience but learning to let go and listen to the universe because I am starting to feel that I am really being told something right now.
That said, while these things happen I still have some perverse masochism to forge ahead on projects (revised proposed title for my book project: "The Lonely Bed").
Here's my latest. "The Canadian Romantic."
Shot and Edited By Craig Irving, bless him.
This is episode one, more to come on a regular basis.
If you like it go on YouTube, subscribe, leave comments, vote, and share it with your pals, link it up, yeah, bless ya.

CRY OUT FOR MUSICIANS

Bassist needed for intense Toronto-based 4 piece rock act. Style, substance, and ability to tour a must. Drop me a jot if this applies to you or anyone you know....

I am serious about this.
Quite.
The act was getting a good response, call me 'self-important' but in today's tepid climate, this music is needed.
I will not post on Craigslist due to the fact that I am not desperate and have some semblance of dignity.
(if the above pic is you, do not apply)


I approach this city with a renewed confidence and vigour, though total stalls and rejection occasionally sucker-punch me.
It is only a test to see how much I can handle before I break.
Monday started with promise, my own tenacity amazes myself sometimes, how I can just put myself back together, this promise was dashed for a few reasons, the day turned utterly lousy, but I just kept right on going, check this potential suitor text message- she had long brown hair and a penchance for dictionaries: "I'm really busy. I'm sorry. Honestly I don't really have time for dates right now." I didn't ask to be single. Next up was sodas with pals, which made things better, at the end of the night a pretty girl was looking at me from across the room, I steeled myself and said hello to her, she said she was looking at me because I looked like a child rapist/killer from a movie she just saw, I kept my dignity and told her directly that it is probably not a nice thing for one to hear.
That day I had awoken full of joy and gusto which proved to me that I am not depressed, just that certain rejections (in all sorts of facets, such as artistic) affected me.
When I'd tell some people afterwards what had happened they'd feel a need to offer this sort of poor hard knuckle advice of 'suck it up', 'keep a going', 'it's all 90 percent rejection', 'don't take it personally' which caused me to wonder, "Do these people even stop to actually feel things?" It was hanging out with close pals the following eve that moved me further away from the noose (though a voice in the back of my head asks, "Is it really worth it to keep going?").
When I went off on my lil trip last month my confidence returned refreshed (a confidence that had previously waned for a few reasons) and now that I am back, these are just numerous little karate chops at it, trying to break me and test my resilience.
Yes, it is important to make contact, especially when you think someone may be looking at you.
I can say that I've had a world of such opportunities: missed and not missed but, more often than not, it is the confidence that grabs the latter. I've talked to many female friends in this burg who feel unattractive because no one even notices them and they are nice looking women!- maybe folks are just too caught up in their bullshit hustle bustle, I dunno, maybe it's people's fear. Does it hurt for someone to simply say, "You've got good style"?
On the topic of style, someone gave me weak advice to dress differently 'even as an experiment' and it just rings false and rather desperate (not to mention that it may have been a knock on my long cultivated appearance). Can you imagine? I automatically thought that if I'd taken that advice years ago I'd never have met some of my amazing friends and women I'd dated and fallen in love with, not to mention the fact that it'd cause one to feel extremely awkward and self-conscious. I hate to fall on appearances, but it is a mode of attraction that can lead honestly to personality. High standards must be maintained! Would I really want to attract someone that'd be into my new disguise? Gawwwd, what would we talk about? Careers? Here's a shit question: "What do you do?" Oh, and how much do you make? Sayonara. Let's call it a screening device (side note with wounded pride: as attractive and fascinating as the gals from my shitty shitty day were, their very natures were adequate enough as a screener, a 'I deserve -and have had- better' kinda nip-in-the-bud). I don't understand the taboo with one night stands, I've had more than my share but ask other folks and it's all poo-pooed, "Oh noooo, never!" However, I will say from experience, I'd never want a one night stand with someone I could barely stand! Standards must be maintained.
Forgive the lack of brevity but these are my thoughts on a day where the grey clouds are a little more busted and clarity is more apparent.

Oh, and we need a bassist. Thanks.

Hallow-recap and upcoming Henri Faberge show!

Dress up for Halloween?
Listen, honey, once you become a costume you never need wear one again, I put enough effort on stage and in the day-to-day attire anyways....

Saturday night Tim McCready had a pre-Halloween party and organised a performance of sacred harp singing! Sacred Harp singing! WOW! It is a type of singing that is so unearthly yet meant for the untrained singer. I found it a challenge. I mean I'm a rock n roll singer! But it felt good to get out of the comfort zone and do this kind of choral singing with ten people.


The same could be said for Halloween night. Getting into a zone and out of the comfort zone. It was my first collaboration with W.A. Davison- though we have been friends for a couple of years now and I dig his musical stylez. It was improvisatory, he used snippets of Halloween records altered along with keys.
This was done in a 'haunted house' set up by Henri Faberge, Juliann Wilding, and Joele Walinga. I love these guys and love being a part of their activities, they have good energy and good ideas! The house looked wild! Long red drapes for the entrance. Red lighting. Containers filled with teeth and such. Eerie performances.
I think our piece came off well, I lay naked under a sheer blue sheet on a creepy child's bed that was set up for the house. I imagined myself as a little girl who locked her mother in the basement, then as a creature who makes snakes that form occult formations come out of people's mouths . I could not see a thing but heard some idle chatter: grrrr, but was told after that it went well. Video soon?
A spur of the moment improvised garage rock jam happened in the basement with a member of The Bicycles, an intriguing woman, myself, and Lorenz Peter of Corpusse- man, I forgot about his garage organ roots, thought he was all about space synths! Lorenz and I had never jammed before and we'd known each other foreverrrr.
I asked people for song ideas and started singing about hairless cats, garbage removal, and gingivitis.
What a night.
One guy was dressed as Gary Wilson.

Back to Henri. He's got a big show on Thursday!Total multi-media! I'm in it as a left wing ranting hippy, check this info:
HENRI FABERGE'S FEINT OF HART : EPISODE II
A theatrical serialization of Henri Fabergé's early years.

EPISODE II: Thursday, November 4th
Arbor Room (Hart House, U of T)
DOORS 9PM
SHOW 10PM SHARP
FREE ADMISSION

EPISODE II

FEATURING
ALEX TINDAL
DOLDRUMS
KATHLEEN PHILLIPS
ALLIE HUGHES
ROBERT DAYTON
RANDY LEE
MIGUEL RIVAS
ARNOLD FABER
KAYLA LORETTE
ALANA JOHNSTON
MATT FOLLIOTT

and many more!

"FOR THE LADIES" up now at Hunter and Cook site

In my recent moods I've been wondering about my life, it just gets darker and darker, has anything been furthered on my move to Toronto? I did say that I'd evaluate after two years. So I evaluate and get depressed. I go see a doctor. It's one of those doctors that believes in natural cures. He suggests to me, "Why don't you see this great clown that some rather 'in-the-know' friends have been telling me about? He will surely lift your spirits. His name is Robert Dayton." I yell at him, "Who you calling a clown, you quack!!!"

Anyways, Hunter and Cook Magazine has a BRAND new website:
http://www.hunterandcook.com/

They've featured six of ten examples from my "For The Ladies" series of art works.
Click here to see!


Yes, THE WORK IS FOR SALE, talk to me.
And, of course, the new ish features the first in-person in-depth interview with the force known as Tonetta that I did and wow...

TORONTO MUSICS

Hi.
Hi.
Maybe it was the allergies, maybe it was jetlag, maybe it was the weather, maybe it was everything! Coming back was most difficult...
...made easier when I saw the faces of loved ones, those pals that I adore.
Saw a bunch at an art opening curated by Jay Isaac at RUINS then ventured to a rock show.
I had choices. Choices. I was thinking about Joe Preston, hadn't seen that guy since the 90s! When I was visiting LA, and one day over coffee, Allison Wolfe brought his name up. "What happened to that guy?"
"He's doing a one man project called Thrones."
I get back to Canada days later and he's playing. I needed to see him.
Then that sweetheart who I need to hang out with more by the name of Sean Kennedy tells me that a guy named Midnight from Cleveland is playing at midnight with women draped on him as he shreds songs from his album "Total Fucking Midnight." Aw mannn, choices.
His MySpace page is here:
http://www.myspace.com/athenarsmidnight

I hope to one day see Midnight.
I go see Thrones, bass guitar, burly man, mass pedals, man, eerie vocoderisms and attachments to be something spiritual, sparse drum machine punctures. Loud and needed.
unfortunately his vocal mic was not on for a couple songs. What the-?
This venue is a tragic one. Upstairs women are rendered unattractive by the fact that they are eating overpriced entrees of exotic meats (lamb heart, anyone?) guzzled down with wine. I have read quotations about them saying that it is 'punk' to do this. Downstairs the venue is made intentionally uncomfortable to replicate a DIY experience. Hmmm. Often DIY didn't set out to be uncomfortable, it was just we had to use whatever was at hand. This place is oozing money and yet went for a concrete bunker aesthetic. Fakery. I needed orthopedic shoes to hang out there. I'm not old...I'm not old....please...I'm not old...I just don't want my spine to curl up into a Golden Spiral even if it is in concordance with the universe! They have no stage, so short people have to use elbows with intention, also: shop lighting to sting the eyes! Must say this: friendly and hard working staff.
The local opener (and I don't feel like naming names, it doesn't do any good, I want to get at the underlying elements not single nouns out)played 'experimental metal' yet they were so by-the-books, playing it safe, people seemed to be into them, a small support group was held outside on a small patch of astro-turf laid out primarily for smokers. And me. As I bitched. Toronto, playing it safe...yeeeesh...

Two nights later. Sunday. I take it back. I see two Toronto acts that were great. Sure, they didn't have rock instrumentation or drums -just saying- they were great!
Six Heads had all of their stuff on a table and they'd just use some of it as needed for their improvised sounds...
Gastric Female Reflex is an appropriate name, two lads sucking on some amplified throat bits while using technology in an organic manner.
Bless em!
They both opened up for Rob from Climax Golden Twins from Seattle! I hadn't seen him perform in forever! Acoustic murder ballads, acoustic guitar chaos, loud drones, all of the above.
He was on a Sublime Frequencies tour, the label that documents as anti-purists the far reaching corners of the globe. We watched his doc on India which showed religious ecstacies on the bustling streets of India, nuclear reactors as a backdrop...
http://www.sublimefrequencies.com/

So I get all down on the safe TO music...but must keep in mind the great stuff that comes out of this city!
I share these links with you in hopes that you check it all out! And please turn me on to stuff as well...I want to know!
Six Heads:
http://www.myspace.com/6heads

Gastric Female Reflex:
http://www.myspace.com/gastricfemalereflex

Mantler:
http://www.tomlab.com/front/index.php?action=artist_detail&artist_id=6

Hank:
http://www.weepingtruckers.com/hank/hankrecordings.html

Pony Da Look:
http://www.myspace.com/ponydalook

Romo Roto:
http://www.myspace.com/romoroto

Corpusse:
http://www.myspace.com/corpusse


(a documentary about Corpusse just premiered at pop Montreal, it's made by the World Provider!!! I'm even interviewed...neat...! Can't wait to see it...)

I am also intrigued by recent acts Henri Faberge and Dentata...


...and then there's Tonetta! I just did the first in-person and indepth interview with this YouTube star in ish 7 of Hunter and Cook magazine and it comes out saturday nite at Paul Petro gallery on Queen: exciting!

L.A. Vacation 4 : Endgame

Maybe I should have posted this sooner. I've been back for a week now and things are foggy....
One of my stand up comedy gigs was at Spaceland opening for Neil Hamburger. For such a desperate depressed guy, that guy has really helped a brother out time and time again over the years. How did it go? Great! Super well! And it was quite a strong bill.
Brody Stevens blew my mind with his intense inside riffing, I wanted to tell him how much I enjoyed his set but I was kinda scared of him:
http://www.brodystevens.com/

And there were also the fine talents of Keith Lowell Jensen:
http://www.myspace.com/keithlowelljensen

And *MAJOR ENTERTAINER* mike h whose new songs get catchier and catchier, he even sang a duet with Tom Green:
http://www.myspace.com/mikeh

Afterwards Mike H stood between Tom Green and I and said that we both couldn't be more different from each other. I asked Mike to elaborate but he wouldn't.
I got to talking about the nature of being onstage with Keith Lowell Jensen's pal whose name I tragically forgot!!! Sorry. I told him that I was nervous- it was a good bill, and luckily I used the energy for the act. Keith's pal said I looked confident. Maybe being onstage so much in the past has helped. However. Being up there alone telling jokes is such a different beast, it takes adjusting, and this pal of Keith's really knew that, he had performed for years with a hardcore band and, I think, even a circus sideshow, so making the comedy switch is not always so seamless. It can be loooonely!
Tonight it only felt lonely just before hitting the stage...


If you are ever in LA stay at The Hollywood Inn.
Kidding!
read some reviews here

Bandmate Scott and I had accommodation shenanigans in that, through freak occurrences, we almost had no place to go. Luckily, a super kind benefactor bought us a room for 8 nites at the Hollywood Inn which sure beats staying out on the street! This benefactor has our eternal gratitude!
I do not want to sully this gratitude in any way but I've got to tell you tales. When our toilet stopped working the manager blamed us for it-twice! When the phones stopped working the manager simply said, "No outgoing calls."
Blood stains on the walls.
Numerous shady men appeared at this hotel with shady much younger women.
Here's the capper, my Toronto agent wanted me to tape an audition for Rogers (who, in a separate matter, were racking up my phone bill repeatedly calling about a mildly late internet bill) because the casting director asked for me specifically. I didn't have a camera or a computer! So I had to scramble, as well as prep my audition: very stressful. A rather lovely girl (sigh) that I'd just recently met asked a friend of hers to tape it for me. Success! End of story? No. Now the director wanted to talk to me on Skype. At 7 AM. More scrambling. More stress. Friends loaned me their Skype. I checked it out at the hotel and everything was working fine. Come the morning of the interview nothing worked, Scott helped me out, we tried everything. It was no use. Standing at the front desk was another sad sack with a non-functioning laptop and no desk clerk in sight. The hotel had somehow turned off their wireless. They also knew that I had an important interview that would gain me hundreds or more of dollars.
And as time slowly ran out, the audition people said something to the effect of, "We'll keep you in mind for future roles..."
Nearly in tears I stammered, "I am on vacation...I have done everything in my power...let me run to Starbucks."
Which I did. I did my audition all stressed out in the middle of a Starbucks.
What a miserable couple of days. Thankfully I have a great and understanding agent!
Did I get the role?
No.
I heard that I lost it due to the insanity of that morning.
That is how the acting business works, by the way. They can always find somebody else, so if you can't make the audition happen then, well, tough cookie...

Okay, here's a happy note: my pal Simone took me for a workout with Richard Simmons.


He's a hoot!!! Sometimes it was hard to work out for laughing!
He commented on my heart shaped sweat stain and noted my distinct lack of rhythm. As an ice breaker, he tried guessing my favourite subject in school to no avail. "Chemistry? Math? Biology?" A few minutes later he asked the group if there were any singers in attendance.
Simone yelled, "Robert's a singer!"
"Oh, what do you sing?"
I retorted, "Anything without rhythm."

My pals Marika got me and a date some tickets to see John Carpenter speak at the massive and legendary Egyptian Theatre. I am a big John carpenter fan, however, they didn't even screen a 35 MM film copy of Escape From New York: it was blu-ray!!! During the Q and A, I wanted to ask a question that had been bugging me for years (What was his synopsis for Halloween 7 with Jamie Lee Curtis that was most unfortuantely rejected for being too weird?)but there were just too many questions, including a woman who just wanted to know how to be in his movies. As he left, a massive throng followed him with autograph pens in hand.
L.A. I love it. Sure it can be desperate. It can be kinda self-absorbed and kooky but so am I.
Coming back was hard. I packed a sweater but was still shivering.
My allergies kicked in badly when I landed in Toronto which helped to make me very depressed.
My ex sent me a nice e mail, it had been 8 months since telling her that I needed space to get over the relationship, the email was nice but it messed me up, I'd greatly inflated a "How are you?" in my mind and had difficulty in composing a reply.
Leaving the house, I'd smile at girls to no response, in talking to them aloofness reigned ("Meh...I'm on facebook..."), but that happens to all genders and persuasions in this city, I know, I've asked around.
I fell into a morass of self-pity, this time with confidence in my abilities.
People have been telling me that I should live in LA but it's just not that easy to move there. And, I wonder, would it make a positive difference on my career? An outlet?
The positive thing is that finally after a few days of being back I saw my pals and it was nice....
I will forge ahead as it is all I can do.