I have completed a few more pages on my Love and Loss book, phewwww.
I received an upset e mail about my "FOR THE LADIES" art show call-out (see: previous post) stating that calling women ladies is condescending. I wrote back stating that I'd been misconstrued, that I am asking for anyone of any gender that identifies as a lady to respond. Hopefully that cleared that up, but I really have to admit, sometimes I wonder if this is a stupid idea and am doing some 'straight(ish) white(ish) male(ish)' fumbling and stumbling. I wonder if there are any men at LadyFest? I'm such a second guesser. And, yes, if it does rub you wrong the way, feel free to express that: I want to keep it an open platform. Althoooooo..... I thought I had a wide variety of responses until I realised I have nothing from non-female ladies! Anyone who is or knows of anyone that identifies as a lady and is non-female or was born non-female? Please please please contact me! Somewhat serious responsees only please.
On to topic at hand. I made a personal break-through this weekend. Hmm, have I taken my post-relationship blog post from a few days ago down yet? I think I will now. It's tooooo revealing, maybe tooo vulnerable...there! It's down! Anyways, back to my breakthroughs, even if I had done everything 'just so' and did not have my character defects, the relationship would have still ended the same way, no matter what. So I have to stop beating myself up and feeling serious remorse over the part I played. I still have personal work to do, of course, I'm not doing it for a finished relationship. And this personal work is never ending! Wish me luck, it gets scary.
I read two things this week which got me thinking. I've started reading The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen, a great piece of fiction so far. In it, one main character is writing an awful misogynistic screenplay that's basically angry and vindictive towards women that he feels messed up his life (ie. a college sex scandal). The book is quite uproarious- tho verrrry dark- in its' truths. I also read a newspaper interview with someone who wrote an angry non-fiction book called "I hate Your Band" or "I Won't See Your Band" or something. The writer had given up on dating arty/musician guys who (pigeonhole alert)wear vintage frames (ouch, wish I had perfect vision), ride bikes (ouch), play in bands that she doesn't want to sit through (mmmmaybe ha ha), etcetera etcetera...The whole interview read as a verrrrry bitter thing that may have been better served with professional therapy.
(Gawd, I wish I could afford therapy)
Those two examples made me realise that for my book (which is on Love and Loss)and for all of my art, I best steer clear of the personal vindictive as it is an unhealthy way to reach people. Certainly anger and bitterness are stages that will need to be explored in a book on Love and Loss, but it has to be worn well and with class intact. I had been guilty in the past of being personally angry in my art and I can certainly say from experience, that it never looks good.
Luckily, I don't feel that angry. Grumpy, yes.
I also found an amazing book on grieving at a church rummage sale. It has great layout and ideas. Should I post some pages? Let me know.