"You're full of yourself."
"You're full of beans."

I used to feel infallible. Now I feel too fallible. Split the difference.

Why is it that when friends start telling me about their interns I want to laugh uproariously?

Want to be my intern? It involves a damp sponge and a high tolerance for Bronson movies. Oh, and you have to tell me I'm a fucking genius and remind me of my accomplishments once every couple of weeks. Oh, and you have to find me that book on meditation I've been looking for. No, I'm not going to read it! I'm going to contemplate it.

Art still up and for sale: Hunter and Cook, Index G, Mercer Union. Beat the rush. Ha! Or donate to your favourite charity, people/animals are struggling worse than some dude with the flu. Achoo.

Current favourite song title: "Pity you, Pity Me" by Bill Cole.

If you can't relate to this post, you are too close.

Which do you prefer: piffle or hooey? There's plenty of both to be had. They're in the cupboard.

Recently showed clips of my favourite band, The Bonzo Dog Band, to the funniest man in Toronto (Chris Locke). He got scared after watching it as he loved it and thought that it would cause such an influence on him that his comedy would become less popular (less populist?).
I understand.

Here's Chris:


Father to son: "Don't fuck it up."

Mother to daughter: "Don't fuck it up."

Father to daughter: "Don't fuck it up."

Mother to son: "Don't fuck it up."

Monotheistic Patriarchical God to man: "Don't fuck it up."

Monotheistic Matriarchical God to womyn: "Don't fuck it up."

(the word 'womyn' sounds silly, I should use lady, oh geesh, I just fucked it up....)

"Doc, it hurts here when I laugh and I laugh a lot!"

If you want to be taken seriously replace the word 'fuck' with that of 'funk.'
Awwwwwww, funk it!

If you don't like what you see here, get the funk out!

(get the funk out, get the funk out)