Also we weren’t technically ‘active’ (one show only in 1999 and that's it) no bites…hey, the music industry is dying, labels want bands that are going to tour, that's the reality. But still I’ve pitched a lot of stuff over the years, I get things done and try to make it good (I do not want to add to the forgettable dung-heap, I may as well just be working in an office instead of creating boring work that has no depth -by the way, I am writing this in an office) but no bites. Finally in 2013 I decided to do it myself …yet again. Always DIY, DIY has sucked me dry, I've done it so much and I don't want to do it again, I've tried and I've tried and I can't make it alone, I hit the ceiling of my own reach. Soooo crowd-sourcing! Crowd-sourcing is a bit embarrassing, even when one treats it like a pre-order the infrastructure of crowd-sourcing platforms set it up to seem like begging ("Won't you please help so and so to make their dream a reality?") With the crowd-sourcing I basically made the money back, though reviews were few if any, next to none (the industry has changed so much, now one has to hire a publicist to get any ink)…Couldn't I have just put it online to get lost in the hallowed halls of the internet? I am a record collector and clearly I am attached to the physical object. Is it really more real, more legit, because it is a record? Isn't manufacturing a record somewhat wasteful? Attachment can be a killer. Maybe that's what's at issue here, maybe that is the source of these very long-term frustrations: attachment. Certainly letting go of things is healthy. My next therapy appointment is in three weeks, I'll keep you posted.